Wishing I Had a Head For Hats: Bundle MacLaren Millinery

I have an enormous head. I know this because in high school, in Maths class, we were asked to investigate the head size of the class and report our findings in a presentation. We were learning how to plot scatter graphs at the time (you know the ones with all the little kisses?). Now as far as the Maths goes, my investigation was super successful. I plotted all my little kisses dilligently and they formed a nice, regular, neat little oblong, which is what is supposed to happen. But imagine my horror to discover there was one anomaly on my graph, one little kiss that revealed one huge head. And that was mine. Yes, winking at me like a personal reminder of my mutant genes was a cross miles away from anyone else’s, so far from the average it needed a graph of its own. Then I knew, my head was ridiculously large.

It’s interesting because no-one notices. I don’t think, unless everyone I have ever met is incredibly kind, that I look like a mutant. My ginormous conk hasn’t hindered me in the slightest, in fact, apart from in one, annoying respect: I cannot wear hats.

And I love hats. Isn’t it one of those rules in life that what you can’t have becomes wantonly desirable? I have poker-straight hair, so I’ve always lusted after masses of curls. I’m a brunette, so I’ve always had a hankering to be blonde. And so with hats. They seem so exotic to me, I love the way they transform your look with one, stylish sweep. Cowboys wear them. Coco Chanel loved them. Need I go on? But put a hat on my head and I look like a toadstool, and not in a good way (is there a good way, actually?). All top and a lanky bottom.

I suppose the only thing cooler than actually being able to don a hat is to carve a career making said-items. And my school friend, Bundle Maclaren, is making a rather spectacular success out of it. She makes her amazing headpieces from her home in London. She’s been featured in VOGUE (gasp) and made several hats for the recent Royal Wedding. The girl’s good.

I love Mariana, below, with its beautifully fanned feathers and classic shape. You could wear it with jeans and t-shirt and you’d still knock socks off.

And this one, Nessie, is so pretty.

Bundle will make it just for you for an amazingly-reasonable price (£69!). And the way her career’s going, you might just bag yourself a collector’s item of the future.